Blog Therapy and Whatnot

Wow, I'm so lame. 4 posts a month apart each, then nothing for 3 months. Well. Here I am again. Feeling the need to pour some ink onto paper....or pixels on a screen. Either one.

#1. Apparantly you have to defrost shrimp? Craptastic.

The 'rents are gone this weekend, off to see my brother up in Steubie. My really lame reason for not going is work. Which is true. But still. I should've gone. Of course, I would've missed that lovely panic attack I just had about an hour ago. Seriously, how does one get over a boyfriend? Cause I'm quite tired of missing him, 5 and a bit months later. I'd never admit it to anyone, but I think I'm honestly lonely.

I could call up my friend, A, with whom I had a lovely afternoon Sunday. We chilled at her place after a birthday party (at a cornmaze. In the rain. We are (awesome) (legit) rednecks.) We were pretty wet, so she let me borrow a pair of sweatpants (after we went food buying, and she got her flu shot. She was so nervous about the shot, I literally felt her anxiety). She proceeded to cook us a delicious dinner as we watched an episode of Bones (so sidenote: I used to love that show, but haven't watched in forever. That episode, from the newest season? LAME. They not only made it almost completely about a relationship (it's a frakking crime show folks!) but they changed the camera-ing to make its transformation into a soap opera complete. Holy crap. EW.)  What with the food, borrowed sweatpants, and alone-ness in her house, I seriously felt like I was her date; I was some guy she brought home. That was an interesting feeling. Granted, it was kinda true. *sigh* Her boyfriend broke up with her, poor dear, I believe the day before. So I was her replacement boyfriend. Even though I'm a woman. Somehow I'm totally okay with that. (I even texted her 2 days after, to wish her a good day. WTH is up with me?)

But I'm not going to call her. (Not least because I'd like people (MOM) to stop doubting my sexuality. Leave me alone folks) She's stressed, and I'm bad at conversations. (<-those sound like really lame reasons. But IRL they're better. I promise)

Instead, I'm typing all this out. I'm going to use blog therapy to get over my loneliness, and my missing-ex-itis. Whew. I feel better already. Maybe I'll do this more often? Just what the doctor ordered.... Love ya folks!

P.S. Here's a photo. Cause all that text without a picture is BORING.

Sorry about the amateur watermark; I'm lazy and don't want to make a nice one yet, but I don't want anyone stealing my photographs. I intend on making my living on them someday....

Bunnies and stuff

There is nothing that makes me more irritable than someone asking if I'm in a bad mood. It takes way too much willpower to not shout 'No shit, Sherlock'.

Here's something that just made my day, and might make yours. Yep, that's my rose.

What's made me iracible? This freaking weather. Holy crap. It's around 98 or 104, depending what amount of sunlight reaches your skin. True, I'm inside the a/c, typing away, but my precious rabbits are outside. It's not just that these are my rabbits, and they're obviously suffering (sidenote: who the crap thought that bringing (domesticated) European rabbits to Aaaaamurica was a good idea? Do people know how different the climate is between London and Baltimore???? Idiots! (nobody consulted me, I would've told them it was a terrible idea, fraught with complications)) It's also that my one (big beautiful) doe has 4 two-week-old kits (that's bunnies to you) that she's nursing, which puts a ton of strain of her. AND my (crazy lunatic) lop doe is 2 weeks pregnant, which isn't quite as stressful, but she's a lop. Rabbits cool themselves by cycling blood to their ears. Her ears don't stick up, so less cooling.

Erg. So I put a tarp over their hutch, since shade won't happen there for another 2 or 3 hours, hopefully that will help. The poor things, I'm really quite worried about them, not *least* because my one buck, a little black Netherland dwarf, actually died from the heat 3 weeks ago. *sniff* He was such a sweetie, I really was torn up about it. Because of him dying, I took my Netherland doe inside. She's a bit on the older side, and has such thick thick fur. 

For your enjoyment (and because you probably read my rant on rabbits and hot weather.)

Silverton, who my mom thinks is ugly, but I think he'll turn out very interesting-looking

Durango, a chunky one. Such a sweetie.

This is Amarillo. He's another chunky one

This is Holstein, who really does look like a cow

 These babies are so sweet, but I've worked hard for that. You really do need to socialize, socialize, socialize. I've been handling them literally since the day they were born.

(this is turning out to be a longish blog post. Wow. Huh. And to think, I was going to blabber on about men/boys and relationships. I like rabbits better.)

My stomach is gnawing on my insides, so I figure I'd better get some lunch and just post this. Hope you like bunnies! (and roses)

P.S. If you're clever, (or just live in Colorado) you'll notice that 2 of my rabbits are named after towns in CO. These two towns are connected by a narrow gauge railroad that is a great and very fun tourist attraction. (I've been there, so I'd know) So there's a bit of random trivia for ya. (oh, and yes, Amarillo is partially yellow. I'd always think of a Jason Aldean song when I held him) 

The Weekend Cometh

Pretty sure I'm not the only one who drags their feet about writing a blog post.

That's kinda why I started this silly weblog. I suppose I needed something to procrastinate about since I'm done school. But since I'm zoned out at the moment (for some reason I'm really tired), I'm not even going to try to make a post about one thing. This will be a stream of consciousness post.

Homemade pizza for dinner last night. It was so good that I ate about 5 pieces. Now, this would be fine for most people. Unfortunately, my gastrointestinal tract doesn't appreciate wheat gluten. (I don't have Celiac's, just gluten sensitivity) So I'm kinda in pain now. It was worth it. But ouch.

Horray for Wednesday! Two more days of work, then my sister-in-law-to-be (aka my brother's fiancee)'s wedding shower AND bachlorette party on Saturday. Mildly looking forward to them both. Not really going to know many people at either parties, so should be interesting. (ADD moment: watching the ball game, and a commercial comes on for Subway. They have what'shisface Phelps advertizing for them. Yep, because men in Speedos make me want to eat Subway /sarcasm) The total bachlorette part consists of firstly a dinner at some swanky restaurant, then riding a limo to go barhopping. W00t. Buuuut my sister and I decided just to go to dinner. Because barhopping with a bunch of girls I don't know is really not fun at all (I would imagine).

Sunday my baby brother graduates from high school *sniff!!!* I can hardly believe my little buddy is all growed up! (okay, he's about six foot. Whatevs) He's actually thanking me by name in his speechy thing. (full disclosure: He's homeschooled (as was I), so his graduating class is like 12 or somethin. But that's huge for our group.) Oh! And technically, though the ceremony is Sunday, he actually hasn't finished school yet. Oy vey.
But then I get to be sad in the Fall, cause he'll be all big and bad, going to that great school up nearish Pittsburgh where all the cool Catholic kids go. Though I'm going to visit him, probably way too much for a big sister to do, but oh well. And I'm going to go with my friend, who just started dating a mutual friend who also goes to that cool Catholic place, and was in our homeschool group. AND my brother's girlfriend is going there, and one of our friends. So it'll be one big party. (and maybe I can meet Marc Barnes, only the coolest 18 yr old evah.)

Hey, that blog post almost had a theme! Amazing! Okay, I'm done, can't see straight.

Happy despite

Happiness.

I didn't really know what it felt like, not for a while. Not for a very long time. It's the middle of the week, a Wednesday, two more days of work before the weekend. I shouldn't be happy. Just a month ago, I would not be happy. I'd be dreading the next day, the long hours in the greenhouse where I work. What changed, in just one month? Why am I different? Is it me that is different?

I should be miserable. Broke up with my boyfriend of over a year, in just a month ago. I was miserable, so very heartbroken. It only hurt once today....But I'm still happy. Despite that.

So maybe I'm not so much happy because of something? I'm happy despite.

I'm happy despite this not being where I imagined myself. Where am I? Working 5 days a week, moderate to hard physical labour. In all weathers. Two jobs, both part-time. It's really hard work. Some days I hate it. Other days I love it. My evenings are filled with lazing around, or admiring the beauty of our property. My weekends are free to fill or leave empty as I wish. I look to the future, and I see a whole lot of nothing. I have no set in stone plans, just time to kill, I suppose. Or time to make something, have experiments. Maybe I'll make something of myself? (cue melodramatic cellos)

A year ago, my plan was to go to college, get my degree, wait for my boyfriend to finish his, then we'd marry and go on our merry way. I knew this would take a while and I was glad about that; I felt secure in the knowledge that the next few years of my life were neatly put into this little box. (now that I think on it, it was almost creepy how tidy my life looked)

Then a huge emotional explosion happened mid-semester, and my box fell apart. I questioned. What the hell was I doing? Did I honestly want more schooling? The answer, of course, was NO. School was wrong for me, very very wrong. Then later down the road my eyes were opened to who my boyfriend was, and I was like 'OH HELL NO'. (specifics in another post)

                                                                   Story of my life
So now I'm here, boxless, yet happy. Happy despite my structured, organized life being blown to bits. Maybe I'm happy because I get to break the mold, that I get to determine my own future (or let it determine itself). I can make new plans, my own plans. Be my own master (of sorts). And that is exciting.

                                                       It's about this exciting.

Sometimes you just have to learn to love where you're at. (dangit. ended a sentence with a preposition. sounds catchy, so I ain't changing it.) This should be interesting.

 Heerrreee we go.

This is intolerable!

Crap.

I'm staring at this blank page, trying to organize my thoughts. I was so very excited to start a blog. I had wanted one for a while now (though not quite as long as I have wanted a pony), but now that it's here, all those danged drafts I wrote in my head just up and left me. Perhaps that is a good thing.

Maybe I should introduce myself? Do bloggers do that? Goodness, I feel like I've joined this club. 'Club Blogger'. 'Tis tres chic. Although....until I get evidence that I am actually being read (or at least my page had been viewed) I will feel pretty awkward about this whole blogger club thing. That's the hazing for Club Blogger; my blog has to be a tad more circulated. 

I suppose first off I should explain that I am ADD. (as if the previous paragraph didn't scream ADD to you, dearest reader) I don't say that I *have* ADD, because I've never been diagnosed by a medical professional. However, mine own extensive reading (and being somewhat of a hypocondriac) hath diagnosed me (myself?) as ADD. As I am getting impatient with how slowly thoughts can be typed, I'll get around to showing you why I believe such. But for now, all you need to know is that I turn off most of my filters when I write. You know that people have filters, right? Like 'Oh, I really shouldn't say that my brother looks like he lost some more hair, so I won't'. I keep a moderate filter on my mouth, but my fingers are magic (that deaf, dumb, and blind kid....) so everything you read, I think. I will proofread, and make it more or less entertaining and, well, readable for you, kind reader, but the long and short of it is you are getting my thoughts. Holy crap, look out.

Also! I like to cuss. Well. Okay. I cuss. Whether or not I take joy in cussing could be debated. And I like paraentheses. I like them a lot, mostly because I think in paraentheses. Now I could go be all hypocondriac on you and say it's cause I've got a split personality or am bipolar or sutin', but I'll just let you make your own conclusions about my parenthetical thinking.

Gosh. That's scary. Me writing and not interpreting for the intended recipient? This is new, and frightening (redundant, I know). I usually have to clarify a thousand times for people as to what I mean.

Maybe I should have just titled my blog Serendipity's Ramblings? Oh well. I'll get to the why of my blog's name tomorrow. Perhaps. You just can't wait, can you, fine reader? 

P.S. Did any of this make any sense? Hello? Anyone out there?....

P.P.S. I'd love if people would tell me if they get my inside jokes. Cause then you'd be inside, and we'd be friends or sutin'. And I like friends.